she's just saying...

The local news: "It's all happy endings here!"

What is with the Bend Bulletin and its happy animal news?? 

You may remember last week's lead article on Buster the dog being returned to his owner.

This week there's the lost llama (found healthy after a 14-day search) and a recovering deer (arrow wound, not too surprising in hunting country).

Hey, I'm a true animal lover and these stories warm my cynical little heart, but are they really FRONT PAGE HEADLINE NEWS?

(By the way, Tina's dead deer story, not having a happy ending, was relegated to the bottom right, though still apparently front page stuff.)

Has she no shame, no sense of decency?

The perpetrator of this animal abuse shall not be identified (hint: rhymes with golly gee!) but she knows who she is. 

She claims she's reformed, but her previous behavior belies a pattern: minnie mouse, yankee doodle polo shirts, and who knows what else she hasn't dared to share.

 I'm starting a letter-writing protest campaign.

today's life-affirming photo

OK, OK, enough with the dead animals. Here's a shot of the cutest little porky ever. Look at those feet!

It's a little (prickly) baby!

High Desert Museum welcomes baby porcupine

Posted by Terry Richard, The Oregonian July 30, 2009 12:38PM

How do you know whether a porcupine is pregnant?

Wait for her to give birth.

The baby porcupine born at the High Desert Museum south of Bend came as a surprise today because the parent porcupines didn't seem as if they liked each other.

The father porcupine, Thistle, came to the museum when he was less than a year old, in 2004. The museum introduced the mother, Honeysuckle, to him in January.

To the surprise of museum staff, a baby was born this morning, July 30. Museum staff discovered the softball-sized porcupine walking around its outdoor habitat at about 7 a.m., still wet after being born just a few hours prior.

Both parent porcupines came from wildlife rehabilitation facilities. Like all of the wild animals at the museum, the porcupines cannot survive in the wild due to their life history.

The birth of the baby porcupine is evidence that these animals are thriving at their outdoor habitat at the Donald M. Kerr Birds of Prey Center, open to visitors daily, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Female porcupines bear one young after a pregnancy of seven months. Newborns typically weigh 12 to 20 ounces and have all of their quills _30,000 of them _ and four teeth.

When the museum's new porcupine is bigger, it will be sent to a wildlife facility where it will be used for education programs for school children.

In the wild, porcupines leave their mothers when they about 2 months old.

The High Desert Museum is a five-minute drive south of Bend on U.S. 97; 541-382-4754, www.highdesertmuseum.org.

-- Terry Richard; [email protected]

Q: How do porcupines mate?

A: Very carefully.

kitteh frylet

My kittehs, someone else's caption:

"I lost half my body weight!"

As told by Bonnie Badger

Get fit for summer with the Badger Diet! 
[Note: not a diet in which you eat badger, a diet for badgers.]

When we last checked in with Bonnie, she was a bit zaftig, tipping the scales at her winter weight of 23+ pounds. The summer show season was coming up, and she could barely fit into her skinny harness. What's a mustelid to do?

Seen today, she's a svelte 14 pounds and is looking sleek and toned. Or at least less like an ottoman with claws.

How did she do it? Let's hear her describe the process:

"I emerged from my winter torpor and got more active. I actually ate more than I did all winter and still lost the weight! I kept to a steady diet of fruits and vegetables, raw meat for protein and dead mice for variety. The pounds just melted away!"

"I upped my digging regimen with daily workouts with my trainer (as well as calisthenics with that popular video, 'Badger, mushroom, snake' ). If I can do it, anyone can!"

Let's hear it for Bonnie and her fabulous new figure. She's showing it off daily at the Desert Dwellers programs at the High Desert Museum.

Top 26 Tuesday: Museum edition

 Random things I've done at work recently:

1. Took closeups of a chorus frog for the local paper
2. Approved a new radio spot after music editing
3. Set up a webpage to sell tickets to our Live Bats show
4. Analyzed the results of our visitor survey
5. Approved the layout of three print ads
6. Toured a photography producer and location scout
7. Wrote exhibit copy for our new Quilts exhibit
8. Ran the cash register in our store
9. Wrote a presentation for the next Board meeting
10. Bussed tables in the cafe
11. Negotiated radio and TV buys for the next quarter
12. Got to know the new pioneers at the Homestead
13. Planned press for the new spotted owl eggs
14. Wrote a positioning statement and new taglines
15. Oversaw video editing of our news coverage
16. Approved merchandise purchases for the store
17. Developed a new blog for the Museum
18. Sold Museum memberships
19. Worked on high-end donors for our Challenge grant
20. Uploaded animal videos to our Youtube page and website
21. Demonstrated how to play "pick-up sticks" to kids
22. Discussed the layout and colors of new signage
23. Attended live animal shows (owl, skunk, hawk, badger)
24. Wrote the creative brief for our new TV commercial
25. Stamped hundreds of toddlers' plump little hands
26. Pet our very gassy goat

Noah the Toggenburg Milch Goat

PS: I'm neither bragging nor complaining - just enjoying the variety!

Big Steve's little kitteh

My brother has now gotten into kitten fostering. Here's one of his latest.
moar funny pictures

Aporkalypse Now: The Latest Hamdemic

When Henry was a small boy, the whole house went through an unpleasant bout of pink-eye. First he had it, then of course Daddy-Mark and I got it. I remember it was right before Christmas because we were too scary-looking to go to any holiday parties. Then a few weeks later, Henry was complaining of a muscle ache one night, and declared he had “pink neck.”  It’s one of those cute kid sayings that enters the family vernacular.

I thought of this recently while thinking about swine flu. (I couldn’t actually recreate that train of thought again, so don’t ask.) Everyone except Egypt now knows that pigs got a raw deal in this pandemic by being blamed for the new strain of virus. (FYI: Officials in Egypt ordered destruction of all 300,000 of the country's pigs. In related news, Afghanistan's one known pig was quarantined. I am not kidding.) Pigs are being dragged through the mud, so to speak.  We already have chicken pox and mad cow disease. What animals will be blamed for our illnesses next? Camel cancer? Hippo hepatitis?  It’s unfair, I tell you.

Meanwhile, remember to disinfect your sty and cover your snout with your hoof when you cough.

Just sit. And pet me.

I'm guessing the Buddha didn't have pets.

Fundamental to Buddhist practice is sitting meditation. I practice somewhat sporadically these days, but it's an important, meaningful and refreshing activity for me (more like non-activity, really). However, it's a little hard to do with lovey, hungry, furry beings climbing all over me.

I like to sit just after I wake up. My pets like to eat just after I wake up.

They remind me of this by rubbing up against me, purring, grunting, dropping balls by my feet, scratching at the door,  barking, meowing loudly, and just generally bugging me. Especially when I'm sitting on my cushion on the floor.

They're my little Bodhisattvas, enlightened beings who stay among us to help us reach nirvana ourselves. I'm guessing their message to me is to stay in the present and take care of others' needs first.

It's a frustrating but loving lesson.

Bob hogging the cushion, deep in thought.

Puppy brain

OK, no more badgers, at least til next week. Unless they spring a surprise visit, which they like to do.

Going down the requests list, how about a puppy? Or a small pony of a dog with puppy brain?

This is Fida (feminine for Fido, get it?).

She's my friend Mary's dog who visits us on weekends, along with Mary. She's huge - incredibly long and flexible, but is still a puppy through and through. A furry black tornado swirling through the house, picking up various random items in her path.

Given that Flash intensely dislikes other dogs, we were worried about his reaction at first, and he did nip her a few times to put her in her place. But he's realized she comes with Mary, who he loves, so he tolerates her. Actually, he doesn't tolerate her, she just doesn't exist to him. They live in parallel universes. Flash senses a disturbance in the force, but carefully ignores her physical presence.

It's a good approach. If annoying things won't go away, just decide they don't exist.

Badger of the day

Bonnie, originally uploaded by Meltrier.

This is Bonnie. She's nicer than Clyde (yesterday's B.O.T.D).

an armful of badger

an armful of badger, originally uploaded by Meltrier.

Today's OCBP*

This is Clyde, who is coming out of torpor and is a little cranky. The badger-wrangler is the other Melissa here.

*Obligatory Cute Badger Photo

kitty donut

kitty donut, originally uploaded by Meltrier.

In response to the overwhelming (5?) demand for kitty posts, here's today's OCKP.*

This batch was from last year.

*obligatory cute kitten photo

Escape from Antcatraz

The inevitability of this post was set in motion the moment the ants arrived in their tube, ready to get busy and start farming.

They've actually been pretty lethargic ever since they realized that their frenetic digging and tunneling ended them up in the same blue gel, a few inches away. Since then, they've hung out down in the clubhouse, apparently on strike. If we open the lid and blow softly on them, they get stirred up and run around for awhile before the futility hits them again and they go sulk.

Things being how they are in a (almost) ten-year-old's room, it was surprising it took this long for a flying stuffed animal to knock the farm off the bedside table and upside down on the floor, with a crack in one corner and the lid knocked sideways. Screams of panic brought me tearing into the room, where instinct caught hold and I started stomping on escaping ants. (I justified it to Henry by saying it was illegal to let them loose in the wild and we'd start an epidemic.)

We probably ended up with 8-10 casualties, a paper towel stuffed into the hole and the ants taking attendance and reconstructing their gel towers. Henry doesn't want them in his room anymore, and I have to say I spent the next half hour brushing imaginary ants off my arms and legs.

Everyone's a little shook up from the event, and I'm counting on a knock on my bedroom door at 2 in the morning due to nightmares about ants swarming over the bed.

Random comments (25 of them)

Several blog/facebook friends (more on that topic in another post) have tagged me for this random things meme. I'm hesitant to do it, as it seems so self-centered (not that my blog isn't), but the masses are demanding it, so...

25 random things about me

1. I hate bell peppers. Any color.
2. I have a "hangman's thumb" - a short, stubby digit that is an inherited recessive trait. It looks kind of like a big toe on my hand. I used to be very self-conscious about it as a kid.
3. I sleep best in total darkness.
4. I'm a really good cook, but I don't like to share my recipes.
5. I can only remember phone numbers by the pattern they make on the dial pad. Or I use a cool utility to turn them into words.
6. I'd choose vanilla ice cream over chocolate, even in a milkshake.
7. I have two tattoos, one of which is visible in a bikini.
8. The only carbonated beverage I like is champagne, and an occasional glass of Deschutes Brewery beer.
9. I've never been very confident on a bike. I regret this.
10. I was an ACE-certified instructor and used to teach aerobics at Joey's Gym. (thanks, Dee Dee!)
11. I can speak, read and/or understand French, Italian and Spanish, at varying levels of competency.
12. I can change my front headlights.
13. I have scuba-dived (dove?) to 250 feet. It was a dumb thing to do, really.
14. When I was 10, my family lived in Mexico City for a year.
15. We had a rooster for a pet there. We left him with our maid, who hopefully didn't eat him.
16. I would love to own farm animals.
17. I got a perfect score on the verbal GRE tests for grad school. (So did my brother.)
18. However, I don't remember my times tables. (We're working with flash cards.)
19. I secretly believe that Henry's stuffed animals have feelings.
20. I love supermarket birthday cake, especially the frosting.
    
21. I kissed a girl and I liked it. Really stupid song though.
22. An old boyfriend and I once made out on a lifeguard tower on Venice Beach in the middle of the night.
23. Only three more! I like stale Peeps.
24. I set up the wireless network in my house by myself, including two TIVOs.
25. I own two TIVOs.

Note: I had a farm animal poster on here but it gets an inordinate number of click-throughs from google images, so I deleted it. What's with that anyway??

The British Empire, and her chicken thing.

You may not know that I can track my blog traffic from online search engines. Roughly half my visitors find me through the search phrase "knitted chicken jumpers." (I hate to even type those words again, but whatever, I like traffic.) Almost all of it from various little villages in England.

Obviously, there's a great interest in fowl outerwear there. Is it because so many chickens have been defeathered? Is it due to a great love of flightless birds in general? Is it code for some kinky fetish? What's the deal???

It's clear I should design a knitting pattern and post it on my blog, to drive up my traffic count for one thing. I could resize the whippet sweater...

I'm not going to link to the original story that got me to this point -- just check out the popular search to the right if you must. I'm kind of bored with the whole thing, frankly, and you probably are too.

However, for those who like their poultry live, I'm happy to share some little-known facts about these birds, courtesy of the wildlife curator at the High Desert Museum:

1. A chicken will lay bigger and stronger eggs if you change the lighting in such a way as to make them think a day is 28 hours long. [Kathi D: be sure to tell us how this works for you]
2. The chicken can travel up to nine miles an hour.
3. There are seven distinct types of combs on chickens: rose, strawberry, single, cushion, buttercup, pea and V-shaped.
4. The largest chicken egg on record was nearly 12 ounces and measured 12 inches around.
5. The greatest number of yolks in one egg is nine.
6. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.
7. The waste produced by one chicken in its lifetime can supply enough electricity to run a 100 watt bulb for five hours.

You're welcome.

Don't even ask...

Down on the farm [caution: disturbing images]

If you're ant-phobic, you might want to skip this post.

Update on our 30 28 new gal pals. (Dropping like ants around here.)

They're weirdly fascinating, and truly exhausting to watch. After digging to the bottom of their gel and building a girls-only clubhouse down there,

they're now branching out with the tunnels they're known for. We were holding our breath til they finally broke through to the top of their first tunnel, but they didn't seem too excited. They just kept going.The digger ant in front gets tired now and then and takes a nap right where she's stopped, so others just push up past her to keep up the pace.

Some of them simply run up and down the tunnels -- I can't really tell what their assignment is.

Others haul gelballs around on the surface, building up their escape route to the lid.

I can sit and watch their little world for long periods. It's haunting me, honestly.

I worry about their diet, though the booklet says the gel is edible and all they need. Should we drop in some sugar crystals at happy hour? What else do ants eat, other than picnic food? Or will that just distract them from their main purpose? (which is...)

The shipping form has strict instructions against letting them loose, but I think one escaped on the pokey stick provided to help start their tunnels. I'd hate to be the person responsible for causing invasive-ant-species havoc in Central Oregon. 

I'm also concerned about their (and our) mood if they start dying off. We're supposed to take out the dead, which the ants carry to the surface in a little funeral procession. It's going to be pretty depressing around the clubhouse when half the gang croaks.

I now feel responsible for them, on top of the cats, dog, fish, occasional kitten, child and garden. (I'd worry about my worms, too, but I can't find them.) Really, just what I need, another source of guilt and stress. If you're considering an ant farm of your own (Kathi D), you might want to think long and hard about what you're getting into. J.s.*

*just saying, of course.

the light at the end of the tunnel

Club Ant, or, We have 30 new pets

Henry received that classic boy project for Christmas, an ant farm. In case you don't have a nine-year-old, ant farms are now very hi-tech with edible (by ants) gel and disco lighting. 

We had to order the ants separately, and have been waiting and worrying about them in this cold shipping weather.

They showed up yesterday in their special ant tube, looking all crumpled and dead. We were really bummed and I was steeling myself for the customer service call and the ant return shipping , when we detected an antenna or two waving feebly.

I popped the cap and the fresh warm air must have been resuscitating, because they started to stir. We got their new compound ready and dropped them in. They all woke up and ran around like crazy, waving arms and legs and trying to storm the lid.

Since it was nighttime and they'd had a grueling flight, we thought they'd like to relax and party a little, so turned on the blue lights and cranked up the tunage.

They were clearly organizing for the great escape when we went to bed.

The booklet said that it might take them one or two days to start tunneling, but our ants ignored the instructions and got busy. Overnight, they found a fault in the gel by the side wall and carved out a little ramp and a long drop with a landing area at the bottom. They carried gel boulders up to the surface and started re-landscaping, building little hills and slopes and rock piles all over.

Henry of course wanted to name them. The booklet says they're all female. "This includes all the ant workers, soldiers, etc. that you find outdoors. Male ants are created only as needed by the colony for reproductive purposes and they die shortly after mating."

Hmm. Maybe they've got something there. Just saying.

Top Ten: Year in Review edition

You know the purported Chinese curse: "May you live in interesting times." This has been an interesting year, both globally and personally. Because this blog is ALL ABOUT ME, here is a top ten list of interesting things that happened in my life this year. (in chronological order - I'm not about to rank them!)

1. I started the Bend Knit-Up, which grew from six people to over a hundred in a year.

2. My dad turned 90, and we all celebrated together in NC and everyone got along.

3. AT&T bought Edge Wireless, and we no longer had any work, though we still had jobs.

4. Neighbor X and I broke up, got together, and finally broke up.

5. I taught myself the whole blogging thing, that which you are reading at this instant.

6. Henry and I went back east for a family trip and went to Fenway. Go Sox!

7. We were finally released from AT&T, though were still paid, allowing me a summer off.

8. I spent the summer off shoveling dirt and hauling rocks for my waterfall.

9. I got a new job at the High Desert Museum - yay! and patted a badger.

10. My dad broke his hip and I flew back east for the third time.

What were your interesting times?